New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
