my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
