If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
