Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
