remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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