Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
