Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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