Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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