Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
