So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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