Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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