I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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