It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
