paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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