I hate your face
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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