My hand turned me down
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
