i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
