Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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