i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
