So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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