i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
