I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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