i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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