I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
