Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
