help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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