Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
