If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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