What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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