would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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