Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
