He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
