Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
