That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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