god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Two words: nipple clamps
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