FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
