I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
