youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
