sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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