Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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