you guys were way drunker than both of me
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
