Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So many bounce houses so little time
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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