do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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