she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
