can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
