So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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