Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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