Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
