Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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