I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
