nut hugger
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
