; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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